


Stumbling Forward, J2 AU, 1/1, [NC-17]

by sandymg



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: J2, M/M, Romance, Sex workers, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-22
Updated: 2011-03-22
Packaged: 2017-10-17 16:44:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandymg/pseuds/sandymg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chad gets struggling actor Jared an exhibitionist job. Only things don't go exactly as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stumbling Forward, J2 AU, 1/1, [NC-17]

**Author's Note:**

> This is fiction. No harm intended. No profit made.
> 
> [ **Spanish Translation of Stumbling Forward**](http://z13.invisionfree.com/Supernatural_Foro/index.php?showtopic=4934&view=findpost&p=22125257) by Alfer

Jared approached the door hesitantly. _Piece of cake_. Right? Of course, Chad was right. Easiest money ever. And it’s not like he’d even see the sad SOB who wanted this. So it wasn’t like he was really selling anything. The other time had been different and he really hadn’t liked it. Told Chad he couldn’t handle that. So that’s what made this perfect. Complete anonymity. It’s like he was alone. _Because he was alone, dammit_. Right?  
   
The key card he’d been given slid in the slot of the door to the third floor room and the light turned green. Jared pushed the door handle and entered the nondescript hotel room. First things first … he looked around. All over. Because the deal was that he’d be on his own in this room. The other person would be elsewhere. With what? Binoculars? But Jared wasn’t going to think about that. Nope, this was like the modeling. That had been okay. Well, he’d thought so. Teacher told him later he’d been too fidgety for the students to be able to capture his form. Jared thought this was unfair. People weren’t still. If these kids wanted to learn how to draw the male body then shouldn’t it include folks like him, too? Only statues stood still that long. And that itch had been real and he’d had to ignore it for what felt like centuries. And he did not _spaz out_. Stupid art students. One laughed so hard Jared feared the kid would pass out for lack of air. Although, really, it woulda served her right.  
   
A quick glance at both the digital clock on the night stand and his own watch showed him he was early. Fifteen minutes till … show time. He took a deep breath. He could do this. No biggie. Like the modeling. Wasn’t like the other time because he was alone. Nobody was going to fucking try to touch him. Nobody was going to meet his eyes with that look of …  
   
Shit, his heart was racing again. Not good. _Breathe, Padalecki_. Like the doctor said. Breathe through it and get the stress hormones under control again. For a second he let himself think of just leaving. Right out the door and back to the shitty apartment he shared with Chad and … The rent bill. Same one he was short on for the past two months. Same one Chad couldn’t _wouldn’t_ keep covering for him. _Go home to Texas, boy. Maybe this town just isn’t for you._ But Jared was good. He knew it. He could act circles around half the pretty boys he saw on his TV screen every day. Going home to San Antonio. Tail between his legs. _Loser_. No. This was nothing. A tiny glitch on the road to success that he’d laugh at one day on location with a fabulous co-star who’d fall madly in love with him but he’d have to let down easy because movie set romances never ultimately worked out and …  
   
His phone rang.  
   
Oh god.  
   
He tugged his cell phone out of his pocket. It was a new pay-as-you-go that Chad had given him along with the key. Said the guy had provided it. Rich eccentric Chad had figured. Chad had served as go-between to the guy’s intermediary and didn’t know who the client was. _Easy money. Even you can handle this, Jay._  
   
“H-hello?”  
   
“Jared?”  
   
Jared jumped back. Dammit, why had Chad given Jared’s real name? He didn’t want that. Shit, he should have made sure … “Um … Jay, call me Jay.”  
   
There was a moment’s hesitation. “Okay. Jay. Turn all the lights on.”  
   
Fighting a tremble, he walked carefully over to the light switches by the door and flipped them all to the on position. Then he approached the desk  lamp and turned it on. He blinked at the sudden brightness but kept going. There was another lamp on the nightstand near the double bed, and finally a standing one by the window. He stared at it a moment without walking closer. The cell phone was dead silent at his ear. Not just quiet like someone not talking. More like no one there at all. He pulled the phone away and looked to see if the call was still connected. The green light blinked and the seconds ticked away on the small screen and Jared bit back the disappointment he could hardly even acknowledge to himself. Because for that fractional second he’d thought maybe he could just go home.  
   
Mechanically he approached the final lamp and flicked the switch. The light felt warm against his face and he tried to use it to fight his inner chill. “O-okay,” he told the waiting man. “They are all on. Except the bathroom … d-do you need that one on as well?”  
   
There was a slight chuckle and oddly it soothed a tiny bit. “No. Not necessary. Stand by the window and open the curtain and the shade all the way.”  
   
Jared gulped. Showtime. He denied the shake in his hand as he pulled first the curtain and then the blackout shades wide apart. He squinted to see through the fuzzy darkness. It was about fifty feet to the next building, a wall of windows facing him. About half the windows were lit, with open shades revealing the shapes of furniture, flickers of televisions, and bodies going about their business, oblivious to being watched. Of the windows level with him, a woman walked over and pulled the shade. Well, it wasn’t that apartment, then. Directly across from him was a black rectangle. That had to be his _customer._  
   
 _Shit, Jay, this is fucking like stealing. Even you can handle this._ Chad was his friend. Well, the closest he had to one in this fucked up town. He knew what he was talking about and had garnered some guest spots on a bunch of television shows and had filmed a pilot that maybe would be picked up. He trusted Chad. Well, sort of.  
   
“Put the phone down on the nightstand and put it on speaker.”  
   
Huh? That wasn’t part of the deal, was it? He didn’t want to hear this dude get off while watching him. “I … I don’t think ... Chad didn’t mention that.”  
   
“Mention what?”  
   
“Um. Leaving the phone on. Just tell me what you want and we’ll hang up, okay?”  
   
Silence again. Finally the voice came back. “No. That wasn’t the arrangement. I’d like to keep telling you what to do. If this is a problem we’ll just call it off now.”  
   
Dammit. Jared thought about the money. Chad would have a cow if he thought he’d stopped the job just because of the phone. It was silly. So what if the phone was on? He was about to strip for this jerkoff … in front of an open window where anyone could … fuck …  
   
“Have you decided?” the man asked.  
   
“’S fine. No problem. Just tell me what you want.” Jared steeled himself. He was a professional. No. That thought didn’t help. Think of it as an acting job. That’s all this was. Wasn’t him the man was seeing. Just playing a role.  
   
“Stand a couple feet back from the window. Take your shirt off. Slow.”  
   
Well, at least Jared could give the guy credit for being quick about it. Man knew what he wanted. Jared tried to put a face with the voice. Couldn’t. In his head he pictured a fat, bald, short man with beady eyes and sausage fingers. Bad breath and a paunchy, sweaty neck. But, damn, his voice didn’t sound like that. Sounded more like velvet over whiskey and that just didn’t match at all.  
   
He took a couple of steps back and started on the first button of his shirt. He shut his eyes and willed his nerves away. It’s not like he saw anyone watching him. Someone would have to know that he was doing this at this very moment and only the guy on the phone knew that. Odds are nobody else was looking out the window toward the hotel at that very second. So it was just him and the fat guy. Great.  
   
Three buttons down Jared got up the nerve to reopen his eyes. If he was going to do this then he should do it right. His chin shot up and his gaze solidified straight into the darkness. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass. Tall and strong and sure. He tried to imagine what his watcher saw. Been a long time since he’d had a boyfriend. Milo back in San Antonio. But that memory stung because he knew Milo would only be proven right if he saw Jared like this. He’d taken Jared’s leaving hard. Had cared for Jared more than Jared had been able to care back.  
   
The shirt was open and Jared shrugged his shoulders to slide it off. It fell in a puddle behind him. He didn’t wait for further instruction, just reached for the bottom of his tee-shirt and rode it up a little teasingly, fingers ghosting along his tummy. He worked hard for his ab muscles. Hours at the gym. Sure it was in the hopes of landing the right role. But he liked how it made him feel. Liked the glances he’d get from others.  
   
“Oh, yeah,” the voice on the phone breathed out.  
   
Jared’s abdomen contracted slightly against his fingers. Fuck, the old bastard had the sexiest voice ever.  
   
“Take it off.”  
   
The harshly whispered command swept through Jared like a desert wind. He tugged his shirt off and let it fall to the floor. Surprising himself he ran his fingertips over his chest, teasing his nipples with each hand, head tilting back slightly and a harsh breath escaping.  
   
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” the voice sounded breathless now. The carefully measured control vanishing like it had never been there. And more than that, the caller sounded _young_.  
   
Jared teased his hands over his chest and lowered them slowly, reached below his navel and hooked his fingers into the top of his low-riding jeans. He stared defiantly at himself in the glass and flicked open the top button.  
   
“Oh. _Fuck_ , yes,” the voice said again. Deeper now. Older again, yet not old. Just so turned on that Jared felt it like a volt flickering through the air and nipping his skin. Hand slightly trembling Jared slowly pulled down the zipper of his fly. Shimmying slightly he started tugging the tight jeans over his hips, down his thighs, past his knees …  
   
It happened quick. One second he was aroused putting on a show for a faceless, nameless man – who may have been an aging, round Napoleon with a voyeur kink. And the next, his jeans tangled around his ankles and his feet twisted in the clothes he’d dropped and he was yelping a pathetic whine somewhere between a _whoa_ and a _ungh_ and a _noooo_ … before landing ass-first and legs up on the hotel room’s in-need-of-a-deep-shampoo carpet.  
   
He was disoriented, having grazed his head on the bed frame, which explained why it took several seconds before he recognized the sound coming from the cell phone’s speaker. _Laughter_. Deep, guffawing belly laughs that would not quit. The guy clearly was rolling on the floor and about to pee his pants from the sound of it. Jared frowned, struggled to get up, got twisted on his pants a second time and landed on his knees this time, face toward the window and bangs in his eyes and the panting on the phone got harder with out-of-control giggles.  
   
Jared balked a bit. It kinda hurt and it wasn’t funny. Was it? “Dude,” he bitched. “It’s not that funny.”  
   
It took several pants and sucks of air and half started spurts of words before the man was able to speak again. “Y-yes it is. I am such a fucking loser that even the stripper I hire is a clumsy … I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m not laughing at you. Really.”  
   
Jared had managed to pull up his pants by then and tugged the zipper back up. He looked surprised at the phone before his eyes flew to the window. The window across from him was suddenly illuminated and a figure appeared in the window. Even from this distance Jared could see that the man was not bald. Or fat. Or short. Or … old. He blinked a few times. Nobody who looked like the man whose hand just shot up in a shy wave would ever need to pay for anything.  
   
“Hey. I’m sorry I laughed. That wasn’t nice. Are you okay?”  
   
The voice now matching the unbelievable body it was coming from was doing crazy things to Jared’s insides. “Yeah.” He patted himself down self-consciously. He was still shirtless. Everything seemed intact. “I … I’m fine. Tripped over my shirt.”  
   
“Yeah. I saw that.” A chuckle escaped. “S-sorry,” the man said again. “But damn, that was funny.”  
   
Jared chuckled. It probably had been kinda funny to watch. He bit his lower lip and put his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. Guess it was. Musta looked pretty stupid. I—I’m not always the most coordinated.”  
   
“You’re fine. Coulda happened to anyone.”  
   
Jared looked around and tugged a chair over so he could sit down in front of the window, and he could focus on the tall rectangle of light and the figure within it. He waited for the man to continue, but instead of saying anything, he also sat down and stared back. Jared tilted his head toward the phone. “We could start over,” he offered.  
   
The other man shook his head. “Nah. Moment’s lost. Was a stupid idea. I just … “  
   
“You just what?”  
   
The man looked up and Jared could make out the solid jut of his chin, high cheekbones and shadows of his eyes. In the backlighting his hair was medium dark and short and spiked up in tiny bursts. He wore a tee-shirt and Jared could make out muscular biceps.  
   
“I was tired of looking at girls,” a soft voice said over the phone.  
   
Jared nodded slightly. “You like boys better.”  
   
It wasn’t a question but the man nodded. “A whole lot better. But in this business. That doesn’t always fly so well. An’ I know I could go to clubs. But, that’s not really my … plus, you never know who else will be there and all it takes is one camera. Been working too long and too hard to let one meaningless night ruin things.”  
   
Jared tried harder now to see if he could recognize the man. Chad would have mentioned if it were anyone famous. But you hardly had to be famous to be paranoid. Jared knew that already.  
   
“How about you, Jared? What brings you here?”  
   
Jared looked down. He had so many answers to that question. “Wanted to act. Perform. Entertain.” He ducked his head. “Have people notice. Prove to folks back home that I was worth something.” Swallowing hard Jared suddenly realized how absurd the situation was. “I don’t even know your name.”  
   
“Jensen. My name’s Jensen. And … you are worth something.”  
   
“I know that. I didn’t mean … meant it artistically. In terms of my craft. ‘M not some pathetic rent boy you need to save.”  
   
The bitterness must have crept through because Jensen was immediately apologetic. “I don’t think that. Didn’t mean that. Fuck, Jay, the only pathetic one in this situation is me.” Jensen ran his hand over his hair and Jared thought the move endearing.  
   
“Nothing wrong with wanting to look at boys.” Jared unexpectedly wanted to offer reassurance. “And thanks, by the way, for letting me look at you.”  
   
Jared didn’t think it was possible to hear a blush. But damn if he didn’t think he was hearing one now. “I did mean one thing, by the way, I’m sorry for laughing like that. You really are gorgeous. And funny. And nicer than I deserve.” Jensen’s voice was soft again and that liquid feeling was back in Jared’s lower belly.  
   
“Thanks. Y-you are, too.”  
   
The line got quiet. Jensen stood all of a sudden. His face locked in Jared’s direction. Slowly he pulled his tee-shirt over his head. His chest was muscled and tight, not quite as built as Jared but solid and well defined. Jared’s breath picked up and he stood without realizing it, stepping closer to the window. Jensen had his hand teasing the button on his jeans. His gaze never wavered.  
   
“I’m not going to tell you what to do. This isn’t for money. Do only what you want. If you want.”  
   
Jared stared. He wouldn’t have taken Jensen’s money now no matter what. He didn’t care if he had to move out on Chad and sleep in a hostel. He wanted this. Wanted it to be real.  
   
Jared’s hand moved to his pants again. His top button was still undone. The zipper rolled over his half hard cock and again he pulled them down. Careful this time to step out of his pants and kick them well out of his way before he fell like a moron over them again. He glanced up to see Jensen shimmy his jeans down in a move that definitely put any strippers he’d seen before to shame. Damn.  
   
They stood staring. Finally, Jensen asked shyly, “Jared?”  
   
Jared shut his eyes a long moment and then put his hands to his boxer briefs and pulled them down slowly, releasing his cock to the other man’s hungry gaze. He heard a moan from the phone.  
   
“Is this what you wanted to see, Jensen? A hard cock aching for you? Wanna taste it, feel it … ?”  
   
Jared started touching himself slowly and felt his knees weaken when he looked back up and realized that Jensen had followed suit and now stood gloriously naked in front of his window. His cock was full hard as he palmed it roughly and Jared could tell he was licking his lips. “Oh, yeah,” Jensen drawled. A hint of an accent sneaking out. It sounded suspiciously like home but then Jensen continued. “Yeah … I’d drop to my knees so fast for you … fuck, you’re gorgeous. Perfect. Swallow you down and drink every fucking drop.”  
   
Jared was jerking his cock hard now, using the pre-come to slick up the shaft and twisting his wrist over the head ever faster. His breath came shallow and fast as he felt his orgasm rising inside him. He looked out the window. Jensen was stroking himself, hand furious and lips parted but his gaze was so dead on steady. Eyes locked on Jared in scary intensity. Like he could see inside Jared. He looked so beautiful pleasuring himself so wantonly, openly. Overcoming fear and prejudice and hiding. Opening himself up naked inside and out, so fucking vulnerable and needy and Jared had this overwhelming urge to protect, to hide all the bad away from Jensen and just let this stunning man _be_.  
   
A few more forceful pulls on his hot flesh and Jared felt his balls contract and his climax ride through him in exquisite, almost painful bursts. Hot creamy stripes reached his stomach, chest and even the window. He opened his eyes when he heard Jensen’s low, groan. Watching Jensen lose it made his spent cock twitch helplessly. Jared fought to regain his normal breathing. He leaned into the window, palm flat. Across the street Jensen did the same. Their eyes met again and Jared felt a longing like he hadn’t felt ever before.  
   
His voice as broken as if he’d swallowed sand he uttered, “God, Jensen.”  
   
Jared stood naked and spent in front of the window a moment longer before he drew the shade’s edges toward him. Right before it completely closed he murmured, “I’ll wait till morning.”  
   
Jensen whispered, “What?” but Jared knew he’d understood.  
   
He disconnected the call before he lost his nerve.  
   
Several minutes later Jared peeked out the window. The blinds across the street were now shut but the light was still on. He took a deep breath, forcing himself away from the window and took a quick shower instead. The water helped. Warm and steady. Calming. Tonight certainly had gone differently than he’d expected. He’d screwed up the actual job but he couldn’t help but feel thankful for that.  
   
Somehow meeting Jensen and seeing what this town can do to people – where  it can take them. What it can lead them to do was eye-opening. Because he knew he had to stop going along. Had to take a stand. Start leading his own life. Not following along behind it. He needed to set boundaries with Chad. And maybe find somewhere else to live if that didn’t work. He hadn’t  taken a job doing honest simple work like bussing or working in a coffee shop or flipping burgers because Chad said it would be wasting his time. Instead, he’d allowed himself to be bullied into the quick fix. The immediate expectation and the lie that it wouldn’t matter. Wouldn’t really ever touch him. But it would. It had. Who would ever respect him if he couldn’t respect himself? For a sad moment he wished he’d said that to Jensen. A one-time, oddly moving experience, with a man he’ll surely never see again.  
   
The knock on the door coming at that exact moment struck him as too freaking rom-com perfect. It couldn’t be …  
   
Hand shaking, he pulled the door open. And stared into the most amazing green eyes he’d ever seen. It took a moment for him to close his mouth.  
   
Jensen entered hesitantly. “You did mean for me to come over, right?”  
   
“Yeah. Of course. I … “ Jared pulled himself together. “Hey,” he said softly, grin breaking free.  
   
“Hey,” Jensen answered back. He walked over to the window and peered out. “You really can see inside my apartment from here.”  
   
Jared looked over Jensen’s shoulder. “Yeah.”  
   
Jensen turned around and the distance between them seemed to shrink. Jared took a half-hearted step back but Jensen moved along with him. “Been wanting to do this since the first second I saw you.”  
   
Lips pressed against his, warmly, searchingly. Jared caved to the moment. He wasn’t horny any longer although he could see that changing real soon. The kiss felt so good. Not new. Not awkward. More like they were old souls meeting up after a temporary separation. Jared almost laughed at his own romanticism. Jensen pulled back with a grin. “What?”  
   
“You’ll laugh.”  
   
“Again? You planning on landing on your ass again?”  
   
Jared feigned an insulted face. “No.”  
   
Jensen pressed his lips to Jared’s jaw, tonguing lightly along the sharp edge before pulling back. “Then what’s funny?”  
   
“How come we’re not more awkward around each other?”  
   
“You mean because we just watched each other jerk off through our windows?”  
   
Jared couldn’t help but laugh again at that. Jensen soon joined him and Jared got to see all the details the distance wouldn’t allow earlier. The laugh lines that crinkled Jensen’s eyes. The flush of his skin when he was animated. Oh. And the freckles that seemed to dance when Jared got too close to them.  
   
Jensen seemed to be on the same page, eyes moving over Jared’s face. “Keep changing colors,” he said softly.  
   
Jared was about to ask what Jensen meant when he was caught up in another lingering, soul-tingling kiss. It lasted a long time and Jared found himself squeezing harder, and drawing in breath and wanting to climb into this amazing man and never come out.  
   
“Well,” he got out between tiny nips to Jensen’s delectable lower lip. “We’ll have one heckuva story to tell our grandkids.”  
   
The air seemed to physically still. Sound sucking out of the room and for the first time since Jensen’s arms wrapped around him, Jared felt a stab of nerves. What the hell had possessed him to say that? Jensen was in the closet and believed the closest he could get to another man was buying him to strip in front of a window and so clearly he wasn’t ready for …  
   
“Yeah. We sure will.”  
   
Jared looked down into shining eyes and swallowed the sudden choking emotion. “I … um … I decided I’m gonna move out of my place with Chad. Find something on my own, even if it’s just a room.” He locked his eyes with Jensen’s. “Think you could deal with dating a bus boy?”  
   
Moment of truth because Jared didn’t want to be anyone’s secret. As nuts as it was, he’d gotten something from this strange interlude to his life. He got himself.  
   
“If you promise to give me the occasional private strip show.”  
   
Jared’s smile was sun bright. “In the same room, I hope?”  
   
“Most definitely. In the same room.”  
   
It was fun to tease but Jared knew it wasn’t going to be so easy. “Jensen … “ He met the eyes of this man he so wanted to get to know better. “Are you sure?”  
   
Jensen shrugged, face slightly flushed. “I like boys. And this really pretty one told me there was nothing wrong with that.”  
   
“I’m not pretty. _You’re_ pretty.”  
   
“You’re right.” Jensen’s eyes took on that mischievous twinkle that Jared already knew he was addicted to. “I am far prettier than you.”  
   
“Mm-hmm. You’re also way more dressed than me.”  
   
Jensen took in Jared’s half naked state before taking a few steps back and tugging off his shirt, staring up at Jared with a defiant, hungry glare.  
   
 _Oh. Yeah_. Jared took a step toward Jensen. And promptly got twisted up in the towel he’d dropped on the floor earlier, feet catching and legs twisting and coming down like a giraffe colt on its maiden outing. His knees hit the rug again as his hands reached out to break the fall, scraping harshly against the rough fibers.  
   
Through the nonstop laughter ringing the air from Jensen’s direction he heard him spit out between air intakes. “And the grandkid stories just keep on coming.”  
   
 ** _fin_**  


**Author's Note:**

> beta: borgmama1of5


End file.
